| A Serious Thought |
[May. 27th, 2005|11:17 am] |
Out of the hundreds of people I see in a night, sometimes it is a sobering thought to reflect on statistics... Out of the many people that I help during one shift, there are people who've been beaten at home by their husbands. There have been kids that were molested. Girls who were forced to have sex. Someone in that line is probably high on something. There's always someone coming through drunk. There's the smelly guy who probably doesn't have a place to live. Then there's the smokers and chewers who buy their poisons in front of their kids who ask, "Mommy, isn't that stuff bad for you?"
There are people driving through on their way to a wedding or funeral. There are people who don't have cars or jobs. They have food stamps and they're buying junk food cause it lasts longer. They're going through a divorce. They're on their way to get laid. There's the sixth graders who are hanging out at the store till midnight cause they have nothing else to do and then they'll walk home over two miles in the dark.
Sometimes, we have to think about the people we see - everyone has a background and a story. |
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| More Fun T-Shirts |
[May. 27th, 2005|11:15 am] |
- The short, balding, slightly pudgy pasty man in the well-worn white tank top which proudly claims he is "Paul Mitchell Styled."
- "Sorry Girls, I Love Cock" (worn by a 20-something male)
- "I Have the Dick, I Make The Rules" (by a very large nearing-30 female)
Those were from just one shift. |
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| Drunken Date Finder |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|05:07 pm] |
Hello friends and lovers! Be prepared for up and comping updates about more of my strange retail-based existence!
Today's headline..."Strange Man Asks Me Out."
Stranger: (staring at me while I ring up his two items) "Want to go out sometime?"
Me: "Um, no, thanks."
Stranger: "Are you sure?"
Response #1: "Yes, I'm sure. See, I don't date men."
Response #2: "Quite sure."
Response #3: "I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't like it."
( Which option did I go with? ) |
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| A Job Offer |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|05:44 pm] |
Events Transpired As Of Yesterday:
Me: "Your total is $43.21."
Customer: "Can I get a good-guy discount with that?"
Me: "Absolutely. *customer looks up in surprise* Your new total...is $43.21."
Customer: "Ha! *smiles and writes check*"
Me: *whispering* "It just won't show up on the reciept because otherwise I'd get in trouble."
Customer: *grinning* "Would you be interested in a job with commission?"
*grin* |
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| Offend Me, Thou Dost |
[Aug. 10th, 2004|12:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
So, I still didn't think it could get any worse.
Then tonight, I get the middle-aged guy in a black shirt with a naked demon performing graphic fellatio on another demon, with the words "Horny Little Devil" in bright red illustrating what is already obvious.
People are so uncouth. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2004|04:24 pm] |
Set Up Scene:
I come back from break, ask the manager if I can use the front restroom quick since back ones were full. She agrees. I leave.
Action:
I come back, hand her my key to get my till drawer back. As she's turning the key, I casually *comment about how the key and all my pens fell out of my vest into the toilet.
Conclusion:
The look was priceless.
Fin.
* Didn't really happen ;) |
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| Why Must Thou Offend So? |
[Aug. 7th, 2004|10:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
Two days ago, I thought it couldn't be any worse. A "gentleman" came through my register with two small children. That wasn't the problem.
What was the problem was the shirt he was wearing. It depicted a very accurate and colorful illustration of a man having doggy-style sex with a sheep as an advertisement for a bar in Montana - "Where Men Are Men and Sheep Are Sluts."
Then tonight, an underage kid walks in with a huge ugly nose ring and a shirt proudly stating, "I Have The Dick, I Make The Rules."
Why do people insult so? Why? |
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| Creepy Receipt Guy |
[Aug. 7th, 2004|12:37 am] |
This was most bizarre, and I have yet to hear a similar tale...
Tonight, a gent came through, bought two 2 Liters of cheap pop and some nonsense items (light bulbs, I think). Total was under $20. Then, out of nowhere, he gives me a very fast, very double-talking speech about how he needs me to sign his reciept after he 'documents' some things on it...
I think, "Okay, strange, but not so strange..."
He goes to the till next to mine and starts scribbling on his ticket. I ring up the next two customers while I'm waiting. Then, he has to go to the bathroom. Right now. Where is it?! I point him off in the direction of said facility, and ring up one more person. Within two minutes, he's back. Considering that the bathrooms are at the other end of the store, I found that very odd, but what do you do?
So, he gets done writing after *four* more customers. He hands me the note and wants me to initial it and sign it for "business reasons." The entire reciept is covered with scribbled notes - top to bottom. There's a code next to each of his six items, and No *scribble* written about nine times below all that. I asked if it was something I was supposed to read, and he said, no, it's just to document that I had no other purchases. The hell? So, he wants me to sign his "contract."
Yeah, right. I put my name and store employee number on it (since my number is on it already and my name is on my vest) and he gives me another fast-paced speech about 'business expenses.'
Very, very creepy, and I'm not even sure why... |
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| When You Baby a Customer...They May Turn on You... |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
The other day, my very last customers of the night bought almost $300 of baby stuff. Clothes, shoes, socks, diapers, etc. That's not really unusual, but what was, was the fact that they insisted on having a gift reciept with every single item... And another strange thing was that the register only allowed 11 gift reciepts per transaction (which I've never had happen before), so they had to make three seperate purchases to get all the stuff. Other thing was, they told me it wasn't even for them - they didn't have a kid. And they were extremely noncholant about the whole thing. "Oh, sure, we'll do three seperate reciepts. Sure, that's fine if it takes forever. That's okay, we just have to have gift receipts with everything, okay?"
I felt strange about it, and I let the manager know (she had to verify my gift-reiept problem), but neither of us could figure out a possible scam-in-the-works with what they were doing.
It could have been perfectly normal for them, but in all the time I've been at Walmart, it was a first for me. |
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| Love? Aisle Six. |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|12:17 am] |
Myself: "So, did you find everything you were looking for?"
Male Customer: "Everything...except true love."
*slight pause*
I Say: "Well, if we did have any, it would come in bulk and probably not last very long."
Male Customer: "You do have a point." |
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| A Guy and a Baby |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|12:14 am] |
Tonight, see, this guy comes through with the baby in the cart, points to her and says, "So, how much does she scan for?" I say, "Well, we can't scan them...they're already priceless."
Everyone say "awwwww." |
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| A Higher Note |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|12:44 am] |
On a seperate note - another first happened tonight.
Someone came through the store on stilts. It was actually pretty damn entertaining. His head was about three foot higher than the shelves, so you knew where he was at all times.
Thanks, guy, for making me smile. |
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| Is It Sexy to Be Stupid? |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|12:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
One of those customers...
The customer in question: A girl in a buisness style top and a burgandy skirt, size girls 5/6, and stilletos. The girl herself appeared to be 15 or 16 and about a size 9/10. This resulted in the following...
Since the skirt was small, it was being worn up past the waist so it would fit around the hips and down. The skirt top was located right beneath her breastline, about an inch from the bottom of the bra. The bottom of the skirt didn't cover a damn thing. The fact that it was also too small helped hinder her movements.
Movements which were also hindered by her four-inch spike heels. She tried walking by herself several times and almost fell over. She had to be escorted out by hanging onto her male companion.
What makes this even more assinine was that it would have been a very cute and attractive outfit had she worn a skirt that actually fit her - even if it was a short one.
-----
Now...if you want to dress to attract attention, by all means, Walmart is the place to do it... But...if you can not walk...is it still sexy?
I can not wait for winter. Maybe then people will start to cover up.
Someday...I will ask them why they dress the way they are dressed. Why can't you wear underwear, why don't you wear a bra, why do you wear tank tops that don't support a 40D, why can't you wear shorts that don't reveal *everything* in the front, why you think the world wants to see your pubic area (yes, it has been observed), and do you know that the only attention they're getting is negative?
They've probably never had anyone confront them on it before. It would be an interesting conversation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|02:54 pm] |
This is a journal of my experiences behind the register at Walmart and at a local fast food place (Job #2). I added the second job stories because they just need to be told. :) The purpose of this collection is to inform and entertain - I update often, but not often enough to overload your friends page.
If you think you're interested, read this for a sample.
Still interested? Try this next.
And last but not least...a recent entry. |
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| Required: Third Grade Math Skillz |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|07:24 am] |
Dear Applicant:
We are sorry to inform you that at this time all of our positions for "Customer" at our local store are all ready filled. We would, however, like to mention some things noticed from the interview that may help you the next time you apply for this position:
- If you don't have enough money for something...don't try to buy it. If you you know you only have $20 on you, why buy $40 worth of crap, then spend ten minutes in line deciding what has priority - the grill brush, the baby hat, or the steering wheel cove - it gives us the impression that you are a dumbass. If you don't have the $, you can't buy the stuff.
- In response to our question about handling your screaming children while in line, a better answer would have been to acknowlede that they are indeed, your children, and they are causing a disturbance. Your answer of, "Ignore them and continue shopping because no one minds the noise and I really need this crap right now," was not correct. A polite and concerned individual would take them home and put them to bed, and leave the car battery and toilet paper for another days purchase. The friendly cashiers will understand the need for you to leave, cause they hate screaming kids, too.
- And lastly, please wear somethin more appropriate to your next interview. Though you may wear a visible thong under skintight white capris and a tank top with no brassiere while you are shopping at our establishment, they are not appropriate for an interview, especially when you are an overweight middle aged individual with an incredibly large bosom. While we have no right to tell you how to dress, our opinion takes precedence as it is determined by our incredible lack of interest in your cleavage and camel toes.
Thank you, but please don't bother us again. |
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| And the Winner of the Psycho Customer Award Goes To... |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|12:36 am] |
Last night, I had a very bizarre experience...
A lady came through, with Chapstick and two Cokes. She was wearing a crusty shirt and at least $4000 worth of gold and costume jewelry (believe me, I know the difference between plastic and jewel.) There were at least six fingers that had 5+ rings per. And about six very elaborate vintage bracelets on each wrist. She paid for the Cokes with food stamps, and then wanted to pay for the chapstick with change.
After every single coin she would lay down, she would ask me the total of the change pile, and what she needed yet. So it went like this:
PC: *quarter and couple nickels on the board* "How much is that?"
Me: "$.40."
PC: "How much more do I need?"
Me: "$1.35."
PC: *another quarter laid down* "How much is that?"
Me: "$1.50."
PC: "So how much more do I need?"
You get the idea...
It went on like that up until about $2.00 then she took all the chane back. Said she didn't have enough. Then she handed me a five. That's also when the lady behind her in line started making comments and rolled her eyes.
So I take the five, and as I do, she says *very* loudly, that,
PC: "I need all my change counted back!"
Me: "Okay."
PC: "I need it all counted back! Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and ones! But give me the ones first!"
Me: "Okay."
PC: "SLOWLY!"
Now, while I understand that some people aren't as quick with the third grade math required to subtract $2-odd dollars from a fiver, there's no reason to act like I'm going to rip you off...
So, I count back, starting with the ONES FIRST.
Me: "$2.03. $3.03. $4.03."
PC: *recounts to make sure I handed her three bills* "ARE THESE NEW ONES?"
This is when the lady behind her finally comments - "They all are dollars - just take them!"
Hoorah for customers who stick up for me.
So, her change gets counted back, one lousy penny at a time, until I hit the $5 mark. I made sure to speak very clearly and loudly and make a distinct point of placing each coin in her hand as I said what I was putting down. Heaven forbid I irritate her if I were one of those cashiers who can't make change...
Then she wants her chapstick opened by me because she lost her scissors. Nevermind that the tube comes open when you pull the little sticker thing off the top...you don't need a damn scissors to open a damn tube of chapstick...
It was a most bizarre evening, but a memorable one. |
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| Stolen Goods |
[Jul. 16th, 2004|05:18 am] |
I think it's incredibly amusing that my store has a big empty cardboard box in the back area with the word "STOLEN" written on it.
Think about it. |
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| To Carb or Not to Carb? |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Yesterday, this happened at the Fast Food Job...
Please note: What I actually said and what I would have liked to say differ slightly...the following conversation represents the latter...
*Bzzzz* (drive thru noise)
Myself: "Greetings! Welcome to my third home, where I prepare greasy deep fried, yet somehow FDA-approved healthy, golden spears of freeze-dried potato/cardboard hybrid spears for your enjoyment! Would you like to participate in consumption of our featured low carb product?"
Customer Outside: "No way! Those have *way* *way* *way* WAY too much fat!"
Myself: "Take your time and order when you are done wasting mine."
*doo dee doo doo doo dee doo....*
Custom: "I'll have six sausage biscuts. And a large Diet Coke. That's all, thanks!"
Myself: "That will be me laughing at the window - please pull forward." |
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| Politics and Fast Food Don't Mix... |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|08:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
Every morning, there's a group of gents who come in, and they sit around and BS and drink coffee. The other day, though, one of my managers got into a political debate about the marriage amendment with one of them. They were both on their feet, with raised voices, and it went on and on... It was pretty embarrassing.
The next day, the same gentleman came in with a piece of paper and tried to get everyone to sign it - a petition against the governor and gay marriage and everything related. It was kind of sad, watching him hound all the older ladies who didn't have a clue - they just signed away and then asked questions.
Good thing he didn't ask for mine.
----
And while we're talking about managers, one of the lower rung mgrs from the fast food joint came through at Wal-Mart (happens more than it should) and saw me. Proceeded to talk trash and use a great deal of obscenity with his buddies the entire time he was in line, making sure to reference to me and my other job. Another awkward and embarrassing situation. I apologized to the people behind him in line, but I don't think it helped. |
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| Witness Come Unto the City...and Order Tea... |
[Jul. 3rd, 2004|12:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
From the food place
There was a large religious convention in town this weekend, and the shift manager told me to put out the ice tea because, "They always drink tons of ice tea." I asked her how come, and without missing a beat, she tells me, "It brings them closer to God."
The funnier thing is that we then had next to no business from the convention...they all went to Subway. :P |
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